CRITTERS CROSS COUNTRY CASH CONTEST or #CCCCC

September 24, 2014

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CRITTERS CROSS COUNTRY CASH CONTEST or #CCCCC is a scavenger hunt for $100,000 dollars in cash. Starts NOW!!!! and ends on the devils night Halloween !

Time is of the essence, if you want to win this money ,you must get off your fucking ass and play with a sense of urgency, you will not win this game from the comfort of your home, you must leave and travel this great country to win.

“I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE, AND I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN IF YOU FUCK WITH ME AND MAKE THIS A PAIN IN THE ASS FOR ME. YOU CAN ASK SMART QUESTIONS, BUT IF YOU ASK DUMB QUESTIONS OR COMPLAIN, BEG OR WHINE ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL YOU WILL BE INSTANTLY DISQUALIFIED. I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO DISQUALIFY ANYONE AT ANYTIME FOR ANY REASON. IF YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU COULD DO WITH THIS MONEY AND WHAT IT MEANS FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY YOU WILL BE INSTANTLY DISQUALIFIED. SOOOOooooo Basically shut the fuck up. PAY ATTENTION, use your brain, Follow the clues WOOT WOOT “ – Critter

You will be given clues and any extra helpful hints on my http://instagram.com/davidchoe , https://www.facebook.com/davidchoe1 , http://instagram.com/dvdasa , https://twitter.com/davidchoe , http://instagram.com/mangchihammer subscribe to DVDASA on youtube and Vid.me

There are about 10 locations you will have to find across this great country, and photograph yourself , in front of each location. At each location there are hand painted RED DOTS . they are monitored ,we are watching ,so if you tamper with the RED DOTS you will be instantly disqualified . if you cannot find the red dots and only the location you will get less points. So for best results you want to be the first person to each location, and take a picture of yourself, with the red dot or dots, holding a current local newspaper ,and the location in the background. The person with the most points on Halloween will be flown out to la and will win the One Hundred Thousand Dollars.

There will be a separate email for each clue given, email only that picture for that specific clue to that corresponding email.  For example if the clue was for mount rushmore, only send that mount rushmore picture to that specific email. WE WILL NOT RESPOND TO ANY EMAILS UNTIL A FEW WEEKS FROM NOW-YOU WILL NOT KNOW HOW GOOD YOU’RE DOING, WE WILL ANNOUNCE THE LEADER BOARD A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE END OF THE CONTEST.

Only the first 10 people to each location will get points from first to ten. So if you are the first person you will get 10 points and if you’re the tenth person you will get one point. If you get the red dot in the picture , you can add 2 points to your score, these points will come in handy later. If you come in after 10 , then oh well at least you got some fresh air and exercise. Don’t cry, pick yourself up and get to the next clue!

Any CHEATERS will be instantly Disqualified. The definition of cheating in this game, is whatever critter decides is cheating. Many many of you will not be happy because you will lose, there will be one very happy person because they tried and worked the hardest and won.

I will now give you the first 3 clues

CLUE#1- the clue is HO HO HO the very very last scene in this IGLOO comedy special https://vid.me/4dS  and 22minutes into http://www.vice.com/thumbs-up/thumbs-up-season-2-4-of-4 send pic to CCclue1@gmail.com

CLUE#2 – the clue is MOTHER FUCKER and the red zone letters from http://www.eater.com/2014/1/10/6298841/the-10-best-lines-from-david-chang-david-choes-dvdasa-podcast  this image http://imgur.com/1HMunrP and this http://instagram.com/p/i82fI1Pz_V/ send pic to CCclue2@gmail.com

CLUE#3 – the clue is http://instagram.com/p/omEDVKPzyi/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McDjaLgrrRg and 2:35 into http://youtu.be/Os-2SMPuyuY send pic to CCclue3@gmail.com

Ok this should be enough to get you started, I didn’t make it too hard more clues will be coming soon. have fun and godspeed

If you’re a little slow and need additional hints. Follow

@critterfleming
@asahole
@bobbytrivia
@quangou
@yumyumcha
@yacuzziboy

 

BTW -PS: jk

September 8, 2014

BTW -PS: jk

The first time the salty stickiness of human sperm touched my tastebuds was at the tender age of 13. as I dabbed my finger from my dickhole to my pie hole , I was all at once nauseated and disgusted by it’s texture and flavor. I hated it. I said to myself. I never need to try that again. it’s years later now and I cant even tell you the amount of money I’ve saved on tissues and tube socks, because like a stinky cheese , the taste of myself grew on me, and now I devour all my cocksnot by the load, no clean up , no mess, living by example. I tell you this now, because most people feel this way, nauseated and disgusted when they first hear my show or my music, I’ve often heard that the biggest flaw in my art is my personality or when I open my mouth, but let it sit there for a second , and let that tiny invisible dew drop thread of precum gently balance on your tongue and let it build into something. You will learn to love me. This I know to be true .so even if you spit me out in disgust at first try. I wont be offended. I am a very patient man (not true).

I am unblackmailable. There is nothing out there, you can do to hurt me , I’m the only person i know in history who willingly repeatedly throws himself under the bus. There is nothing you can do to me I haven’t already done to myself a million times worse. Basically I’m that fruitbat that cums and moans in pleasure while you stab me over and over again.

However even though my therapist often reminds me of my psychotic delusions , that I’m not a millionaire playboy emmy award winning investigative journalist by day, and masked vigilante crime fighter health inspector by night. I am neither Batman nor Spider-Man , I have lots of money , and If you prescribe to the belief: money equals power , than with lots of money comes great responsibility , that’s why batman and Spider-Man wear masks , so they do what they do and not bring harm to their family .
I do not wear a mask
I hide behind nothing
And show you everything

So people that are close to me become targets and that are not unblackmailable by Horrible people that exist out in the world.
I know batman and Spider-Man do not exist in this current reality except as comic books and in movies, they are not real people that walk among us , but IF they did , those are not the bats I’d wanna fuck with.
Listen to me now when I tell you. I am not the bat you want to fuck with .
Sorry for the delay but horrible threats were presented in and around my life , those threats have been eliminated and now it’s back to business as umm usual .
:) LoL
I hope you all understand a little or nothing of which I just explained

One of the worst parts of Slavery is how many slaves out there willingly enslaved themselves. Many live like scared little pussies under harsh rules and restrictions and answer to someone .Most of the most richest powerful men I know are still not free men ,they have bosses or have to answer to their wives or shareholders. I answer to no one ,and that’s why this song and dance will go on.

This show DVDASA that I chose to do, in one short year, has lost me time, money , love, friends , family, life changing career opportunities while simultaneously dragging my name and reputation through the dirt and cultivating the worst fans in the entire universe. By all accounts of sanity and intelligence this will only continue to get darker and worse. My friends, family, coworkers ,mental and spiritual advisors all urge me to quit the show, something that is hurting my life so much, and the people in my life, if I was a smart man, which I am not. I would probably listen, but playing drums and huffing spray paint for over 30 years has caused my ears to deafen and brain cells to disappear, so those words all fall on literally deaf ears , and even if I could hear you, I wouldn’t listen because … fuck you.. . DVDASA FOREVER. like a true psychopath I will continue because I like it when it hurts . and if it hurts , I’ll only hit harder .you think you can ever stop me? You think you can ever try to stop this shit? Even death wont stop, this train, I have hundreds of epsiodes to release upon my death, DVDASA WE WILL NEVER DIE- WE JUST MULTIPLY.

I never meant to hurt you and I’m sorry if you misunderstood me, but you hurt me . I was never sorry . Nothing lasts forever . Except death , divorce and Us . Thank your god for us.

I spent the last decade making a book, compiling all of my most luscious magnificent watercolors , if you are looking for street art graffiti bullshit you came to the wrong place . Not content with just detailed masterful watercolors , I added in true sociopath fashion , career ending and personal love life suicide text messages and the most direct emails you will ever read , throw in nude photos of the most beautiful women I’ve ever photographed and you get a complete package of a schizophrenic perverted artistic genius mixed with ravings and cravings of a lunatic
You will laugh you will cry you will get hard you will get wet you will be conflicted you will be inspired –it’s bound hardcover , about 300 pages really heavy and for sale for 60 bucks at noon this Wednesday at DAVIDCHOE.com


I’m proud to have a been a part of two Emmy award winning tv shows
Vice on HBO and Parts unknown on CNN ,if you enjoyed fingering your bean watching me on those shows , you will absolutely hate these upcoming shows I been working on just for you -!

Firstly -Join me Bobby Trivia, Bobby Lee, Val, Poon, Critter, Asa Akira, Khalyla, Steve Lee and rachelle Fancy aka Stacy Adams @HongDynasty – 5 complete seasons available now only on Instagram, season 6 coming soon! made specifically for instagram’s 15 second video option ( the length it takes for me to reach orgasm, including removing my clothing) , please enjoy the first IG telenovela with its groundbreaking storyline and production, world class babes and emmy award level acting and dramatics. please enjoy the shit show.
@HongDynasty
written, directed and produced by Rachelle Fancy
Filmed it’s entirety at Mr. Igloo Hong’s Castle

Secondly -Join me and the son of my cousin’s uncle’s nephew Guam Cruise aka Horny Kim aka Harry Kim on this Fourth, best! and final shark jumped installment of our quadrilogy “THUMBS UP!” as we attempt to cross America by hitchhiking hoping trains by any means necessary as long as we don’t pay for any of the rides, laugh and learn. Cash,grass or ass no one rides for free…. Except us LOL J

Thirdly-Join me and my trusted driver/chef/publicist/handyman/lover/manservant/bodyguard –Critter- my CHAOS brother! as we travel around the planet on “GLOBAL CHAOS TOURS” putting ourselves in the most possible danger as we do every fucked up thing you’re never supposed to do. We do it so you don’t have to! please enjoy this show from the safety of your home -this show that was turned down by every major network . Watch as our two hero’s drink, fuck, suck, fight, kill, explore and destroy everything across the planet !!!Coming soon.

Fourthly -Join SteeBEE wEEBEE and Pooner aka the Macau brothers as they take you into the underbelly of the Chinese Sex trade and explore aka Fuck everything that moves in this deep exploration of a world everyone wants to know about but is too fuckingn scared to uncover. Watch “Tha Macau Brothers” only on DVDASA coming soon.

Fifthly – MANGCHI an experimental gospel praise band born from the ashes of DVDASA- KOREAN GONE BAD- BEASTIE BOYS. Thank you America for watching and listening to our prematurely leaked video by a disgruntled ex dvdasa employee (me!) and making us the #1 gospel band in the world !

me and steebee weebee grew up listening to the sounds of money mark in the beastie boys and worshipping his name. it’s 2 decades later ,and money mark is in my band now. You’ll never guess what happens next . watch and listen here to find out more.




Sixthly- Please enjoy this fan made DVDASA film titled “igloo hong’s castle of comedy special ” which compiles over 10 years of shenanigans uploaded online throughout the years, most of it taken down immediately . I can only imagine how long this will stay up . Please enjoy. Your first impulse will be to watch this stoned , but you shouldn’t, you should sit up straight and be alert ,study and pay attention, and watch till the very end, look for the first clue! I will give you one hundred thousand reasons why.

And Finally Seventhly – $100,000!!! That’s right a ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR CASH PRIZE SCAVENGER HUNT CONTEST!!!

100k

i haven’t gambled in 2 years , but i haven’t cleaned my room in 7 years. Since being let go from all my mainstream media jobs I had a lot more free time on my hands , and decided to finaly clean my hoarders room. And in the same way some of you might find delight in finding 20 dollars in some old hidden jeans, I found an old shoebox with $100,000 from my old gambling days under a pile of comics and cum rags. I know this might sound unbelievable to most of you, but I used to go to vegas every week with shoeboxes and pillowcases full of millions of dollars, so one must’ve gotten lost in the shuffle. For his years of loyal service, I gave critter my trusted bodyguard the money , as a bonus for all the off the books horrible dirty deeds he had to perform on my behalf. but like a woman reciveing cash for sexual favors this just made him feel dirtier, so he decided he doesn’t want to keep any of this dirty money . so on behalf of the very generous critter . I’m proud to announce –
CRITTER’S CROSSCOUNTRY CASH CONTEST !!!!!
Winner will receive One hundred thousand dollars in cash and an opportunity to be in a steve lee song a david choe painting a Asa Akira pornographic film and a chance to determine the future of the DVDASA show. The contest starts now and will end on the devils night

So Pay close attention
follow the clues
No cheating
we are watching
Anyone who is on the show is not eligible
Anyone who is friends or family with any of the crew is not eligible
Anyone who harrasses anyone on the show , related to the show , friends and family will be disqualified immediately.
If you complain at all about anything
Instantly disqualified.

That’s all I have for now, I’m making this shit up as I go, it’s not perfect like everything I do, if you bitch or complain about absolutely anything , you’re out , so stay tuned here for more details how to play and enter . clues will be released and taken down randomly.

Follow on instagram
@davidchoe
@davidchoe2
@Mangchihammer
@dvdasa
@critterfleming
@yacuzziboy
@bobbytrivia
@asahole
@quangou
for any additional clues and updates .

if you’ve never had hot magma like jizm infused with genuine enthusiasm launched on to your cute freckled face these announcements is what that feels like . DVDASA unblackmalable built to last –do not fuck with us , we are not right in the head , we are not the people to fuck with , we are not a cult (we are) , we are not a movement (we are), we are family ,we are in the matrix , we are here to help . you’re either with us or you’re with us . all we do is Ngyuen – carry on – business as um usual. – your spiritual guidance counselor – IGLOO ‘CHOEY’ HONG

MANGCHI “NEGA MOLA”

September 4, 2014

MANGCHI-Album-Art-James-Jean

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MANGCHI – NEGA MOLA.


“A fart from a child born without a butthole” , is what MANGCHI sounds like said 1 of the 2 people who were let into a room to hear this new sound. The second person, John Cusack , actor/comedian/artist from such films as “SAY ANYTHING” and “ROADSIDE PROPHETS” described the music as “If korn, depeche mode and the beastie boys were forced in a bus together to tour north korea, and all their lead singers quit in the middle of the tour, and the band picked up the korean versions of Debbie Gibson, Stacey-Q, and buddy Holly to replace the singers who just happened to be hitchhiking on The north korean countryside road, and then they all got in a tour bus accident and all got whiplash and broken bones, but Kim JONG UN made them play a show anyways with broken necks right on the side of road using the broken car parts as instruments over the non-existent ambulance sirens, that’s the closest I can get to describing the MANGCHI sound…. So basically listening to GOD’s voice as he’s hitting puberty… so basically Art.”

The Mangchi band consists of many moving parts and many easily replaceable members. Some people don’t even consider mangchi a band and more of a gang. Since joining mangchi certain family members wont even talk to them anymore. Current and founding members are:

MONEY MARK aka $ aka MARK

IGLOO HONG aka david chow aka david chioughx aka dave choe

STEEBEE WEEBEE aka the funnier oil brother aka Quangou

Similar to 90’s super group NKOTB aka new kids on the block , everyone in MANGCHI sings and play all the instruments and switch off on different songs, wether they know how to sing or play is irrelevant. Zero point zero emphasis is put on technique and 113% percent of emphasis is put on heart and soul.

It is not a strange occurrence to see members of the band crying while eating or while recording their own songs, because they are so moved by their own words.

This is the story and sound of MANGCHI, this is how it all begins. A tale of sordid plastic sex off the dirty streets of Hollywood blvd. Failed comedian auctioneer , STEEBEE WEEBEE and Failed cult Leader and motivational speaker , met one day at a sex shop on Hollywood blvd. while waiting in line to buy essential sensual oils they desperately needed for sex toys they had both shoplifted previous. They got to talking, while waiting for the gentleman in front of them making a huge purchase of cockrings. Both had a burning desire to spread the message of love and joy, one through the platform of comedy and the other through religion, and both had lost. They had the right message but found the wrong vessel to be delivered ,with a renewed interest in spreading love to the world they dropped their oils right there and with a newfound spring in their step , they followed the cockring purchaser , and all 3 started to walk out onto Hollywood blvd. at the same time as like an episode of 3 stooges all three got stuck walking out at the same time as a rainbow of cockrings scattered all over the famous stars on the blvd. they looked up to see none other than ,jedi MASTER MONEY MARK, the 2 young men fell to their knees as they started to kiss the feet of their master. It was fate it was serendipity. The two young men had grown up inspired and heavily influenced by the money mark sound from beastie boys “check your head “era . Money mark had written more hit songs that they loved and cherished more than anyone, completely ignoring the fact that, why would one person need so many cock rings. They discovered that, Money mark had toured with the beastie boys for over 2 decades, with the passing of MCA rip, the beastie boys had disbanded and now money mark had gone into a deep depression but was now ready to create a new sound ,a new hope with a message of love that would explode and deafen the world with the joyous sounds of wonder and delight.

Now that the boys all met and put their hands together in a triple high five and a promise to each other to try harder and work harder, mangchi has officially been a band for two weeks, now (one week of working out one week to make the album -not joking) years and years of repressed feelings and emotions coupled with a shared vast musical eclectic influence amongst the three men, the music just came pouring out as if they were possessed. The first album was done in 5 days the remix album took 1 on the 7th day they rested and now they are hard at work on the second and third album, even before the first one has even been released.

Once again like the three stooges, they eat, shit, read , fuck, fight, sleep and do everything together from the hidden MANGCHI compound in NORTH KOREA TOWN.

Currently they are testing the music out at keroke bars, bringing their own instrumental tracks in on laser disc and at jews for jesus bar mitzvahs and senior citizen Quinceañera’s . if you don’t want to wait for your grandmothers 15 year old party, you can see MANgCHI perform every night with the house band at the Mexican bar on 8th and western in SOUTH KOREA TOWN. they also recently pooled their resources together to purchase an AV/BIZDEV/roadie/publicist/web designer who is working tirelessly night and day to try to capture the mangchi sound on his cellphone to upload it to a website MANGCHI.COM Why are they called mangchi?

Because it means hammer and because it’s fucking time

MANGCHI.COM